🌑 Empathy for End Times
In this Newmoonsletter, we invite you to make your to-let-go-of and to-make-space-for lists as you practice some empathy towards yourself in these dark times of transformation.
Yet again we write a letter for the New Moon, the time in each lunar cycle when the Moon passes in front of the Sun and gets its far side tanned. Back here on Earth, this means our nights are the darkest, allowing us to see the stars more clearly. Because of the clarity that emerges in the dark sky, each New Moon is a good time for setting intentions for the next cycle.
Does it feel weird to be reading about the Moon’s cycles when we’re being bombarded by emergencies and breaking news? We thought it might be comforting to remember that our beloved Moon is basking in sunshine not too far from us while our nights are darkest – both literally and metaphorically of late.
Now, before you run off to deal with the next emergency in your life, we’d like to invite you to sit with us for a few minutes. Because we feel like you deserve a moment of empathy for yourself and those around you.
Look, we even made a template you can pass off as doing user research at work! If anyone were to glance over your shoulder at the office you might have been forced to return to, all they’ll see is a legit-looking empathy map:
Unlike the empathy map you might have encountered in your design thinking or product development, the map you see above isn’t about getting into the head of your “target audience” (an awful phrase you probably shouldn’t be using unless you’re in the military) and understanding how you can sell people more stuff they don’t need.
Instead, the Empathy Map for End Times invites you to spend a bit of time in your own head – and body – to reflect on how you’re dealing with what feel like end times.
Wait, what? Spending time alone with your thoughts and – even worse! – feelings, what a horrifying way to spend these dark nights – and days! But you, dear human, deserve some empathy today. Wherever you are, and whenever today is for you, you deserve a chance to take a deep breath, and make a note of what your senses are capturing right now, what your brain is busy processing, what your entire body is metabolising at this moment in time.
You don’t have to do it right now. Maybe save the map for when you can set some time aside, either on your own or with somebody you feel comfortable with.
But you see that part of the map at the top? We reserved that top part, the above-head space for all the expectations, old ways of doing things, the external pressures that are weighing you down, making you smaller, making it difficult to move or even breathe.
Once you figure out what all of those things are, it’s time to let some of that weight go. It’s ok, really. And don’t even think of it as letting go. Think of it as making space. For dreams and hopes that can reach further than you ever thought possible. Because there is nothing holding you down when you decide to let go. (Except for gravity, but that’s a topic for another Newmoonsletter.)
If it helps, make a list of things that you want to let go of. And then a list of things you want to make more space for. Don’t limit yourself. This is not a to-do list to check off in a day, a lunation, or even a solar cycle. Just write, sing, draw, shout your to-let-go-of and to-make-space-for intentions in whatever way feels right to you.
If you need some ideas, feel free to borrow from our lists below.
💩 Our to-let-go-of list:
Waiting for systemic fixes from above.
Shaming each other for imperfect decisions we’re forced to make.
Allowing differences that do no harm to divide us.
Buying our way out of discomfort.
Allowing old habits and life scripts to hold us back.
Reading or watching the same horrible news for hours.
Shouting “How dare they!” into the void of social media.
External metrics of success.
Technology that isolates us.
🌱 Our to-make-space-for list:
Community building and collective futurecrafting.
Kindness towards others and ourselves.
Expressing and processing uncomfortable feelings.
Healing and dreaming.
Mending and repairing.
Singing and dancing.
Being informed and asking “What can I do?” and “Who can I talk to?”.
Exploring collective action.
Hugging trees, petting moss.
Being weird and publishing that draft.
Walking on uneven, unpaved paths to strengthen our ankles.
Sitting by rivers, lakes, ponds, seas.
Listening to bird songs.
Sharing radicles of bold ideas.
Technology that connects us.
See how much longer and – even more importantly – fulfilling the to-make-space-for list is? That’s because it’s actually more exciting to imagine things that bring us joy and hope.
And we know that letting go is hard, even when the to-let-go-of list is shorter. Loss aversion is a known cognitive bias. But there really is so much more we can make space for. Especially if we embark on this process together.
Part of this is also using collaborative and social technologies in ways that make more space for the nourishing and less for things that make you feel bad about yourself and our collective chances for survival. This doesn’t mean looking away from injustice. It means stepping up with greater empathy and kindness. It means playing for end times like our lives depend on it – because they do.
Maybe you’re not part of the minorities that are currently being othered and persecuted. But (re)read the poem First They Came. Eventually, the knock arrives at your door and there might be nobody left to speak up for you.
But we’re not letting it come to that. The movement for hatred and exclusion has gained massive momentum around the world. We need to craft an equally – if not stronger – movement of love to counter that. Not alone, together.
Time to put your fellowship together, pathfinder. A fellowship of love, a fellowship of the planet Earth.
With 💜 & 🙂 from the Tethix campfire,
Alja and Mat
“The moment we choose to love we begin to move against domination, against oppression. The moment we choose to love we begin to move towards freedom, to act in ways that liberate ourselves and others. That action is the testimony of love as the practice of freedom.” – bell hooks
Additional pathfinding suggestions
This New Moon, we invite you to …
💸 … explore the Shutdown315 Movement and reflect about who you are giving your attention, energy, and money to, and whether they deserve it.
📝 … write a eulogy for the old way of doing things to process the changes we’re going through, both on the collective and personal level.
🪦 … reflect on Regrets of the Dying.
🎧 … listen to the episode Speaking with a professional who helps people to die on the Blindboy Podcast for a delightful chat about death and playfulness.
🌱 … read Mat’s post Breaking the Cycle of Trauma Through Transformation.
🕺🏻 … release some pressure by singing and dancing to Under Pressure by Queen and David Bowie.
🪴 … read Alja’s post Nurturing conditions for kindness & learning in public online spaces.
💜 … listen to the latest episode of Pathfinders Podcast What’s the role AI and digital tech could play in collective futurecrafting?
🔥 … join us for the next Full Moon Gathering to yarn about the question: “How do we compost our sh*t to create the soil for thriving?”
Lovely and much needed thanks for this Mat and Alja. xxx